Tag: anger

My 23rd Anniversary as a Bishop

Posted on by Julia Smead

Beloved in Christ,

Bp. Ackerman

I can hardly imagine that I was consecrated a bishop – a successor to the Apostles – 23 years ago today. Yesterday at Mass at St. Timothy’s in Fort Worth, I celebrated a Vigil Mass of the Feast of Sts. Peter and Paul, and I focused on the incongruities that exist in the celebration of two diverse individuals.

In the midst of the day, I recalled a question asked of me recently, “Why do you and your family seem to be so happy?” It’s true – in our 55 years of dating and our 50 years of marriage, Jo and I rarely argue. I do not ever recall having an argument with our children, and, in spite of the fact that I come from a volatile part of the country – Western Pennsylvania, my family did not engage in conflict – there was enough around us! My parents did not use profanity, and my father claimed that his Swedish heritage resulted in his being “neutral” in a variety of ways.

I think what I learned, and have experienced is that people can choose to be angry, but that, in fact, we do not make people angry. Some people simply choose to make every “slight” in life become an unnecessary component. In the Diocese of Quincy it was said that the Bishop of Quincy reserved his right to be angry when righteous indignation was indicated, but in retrospect, it meant that with all of the truly tragic circumstances of the world in which we live, anger is a waste of energy. Conflict is a luxury that those who are engaged in international tragedy cannot endure. In the funny book, “Who moved my Cheese?” The author points out that for people with an extraordinarily small worldview, minuscule matters are elevated to a level of absurdity. As I have often said, traditional Christians are regularly adept at shooting their own people, or, perhaps more particularly, we all too often have traded in the Foot Washing Ceremony for the Foot Shooting Ceremony.

So…if I do not seem to be angry very often, it is because I have reserved that decisional emotion for something really important – like the persecution of Christians or Heretical Teaching, and a departure from what God has revealed. Far too many people today maximize matters that are truly minimal in importance. Egocentric behavior is all too often more prominent than Christocentric behavior, and the task of the Christian is to present Christ to the broken – not to sing the hymn “How Great I art.”

So…..why do my family and I never engage in arguments and disagreements? It is because we know that being a Christian family is far more important. Jo always told the children to thank God that Daddy was following Jesus and helping others, and our children spent more time in prayer than in conflict. I am blessed. Twenty-three years later I must strain to recall conflict in my Diocese. If I eliminated outside interference from ecclesiastical bodies, and limited egocentric behavior – there is nothing to report.

Those who enjoy the art of anger and conflict are welcome to entertain it, but God is not a God of chaos – He is a God of Order – and His Son has demonstrated His Love – with His arms stretched upon the Cross ready to embrace you and me.

In Christ,
Bp. Keith L. Ackerman, SSC

Do You Know How Much You are Worth?

Posted on by Julia Smead

Quintessential Quinciensis
by The Rt. Rev. Keith L. Ackerman, SSC

Many years ago I had the privilege of working with what was then called “Juvenile Delinquents.” Today we now have syndromes and disorders. These were boys who were sent to us by the Court system as an alternative to being in the State Corrections system. The founder, a Saintly man – Bishop Robert H. Mize – founded the institution, then called “the St. Francis Boys’ Homes,” with a treatment mode that he simply called “Therapy in Christ.” These Homes had every strata of society, with boys who had committed every type of crime imaginable.

One boy had been dropped off at our Unit by parents who cried the entire time that they helped him move in; they were lovely people. Their son was a bitter young man, and my one on one counseling with him was nonproductive. In Group counseling he was mute. One day in individual counseling, he blurted out “my parents hated me.” I attempted to reconcile what he said with the image I had seen when he entered the Unit with his parents. After several minutes of non-aggressive probing (I was a Rogerian in those days) he said, “Why did they leave me?” I, of course, pointed out that they had not “left” him, and that they prevented him from being incarcerated in a State institution by bringing him to St. Francis. He said, “I’m not talkin’ about them.” Now I was baffled. The reality was that he had been adopted by the lovely couple whom he called “Mom” and “Dad.” He had spent years being furious with the parents he did not remember whom he saw as bringing him into the world and then abandoning him. Sadly, he had taken out his anger of abandonment on the world into which he was born and onto the parents who had attempted to rescue him from that world.

Im worth that muchAfter being unsuccessful in utilizing every method I had learned in the numerous courses in undergraduate and graduate psychology, I blurted out, “Hey kid, do you know how much money your adoptive parents paid for you?” Suddenly I had his attention. He said, “How much?” With a degree of frustration, I told him about attorney’s fees, and all of the expenses related to an adoption, and I gave him an estimated “bottom line” figure. He said with a smile I will never forget, “You mean I’m worth that much.” He became a model resident and was released within the year.

Sometimes we vent onto the wrong people when we are filled with pain, and it can become misdirected anger. But Jesus understands. He has adopted us as His children, and He was willing to pay the price on Good Friday for His adopted children. The next time you look at a Crucifix you may wish to remember the boy in this story, and with him you may wish to say to Jesus, “You mean I’m worth that much?”